Contemplation on God’s doings…
Today was just been one of those days in which I’ve just spent thinking and contemplating about life… it’s hard not to wonder sometimes whether or not God really knows what He is doing. You know what I mean? So many times I catch myself doubting or questioning decisions that God makes or things He allows to come to pass…
Over the last three years of my life, I have watched my mom struggle in a battle against breast cancer. She was first diagnosed in September 2003… I still remember the night she told me. My mom knew something was wrong. She had gone to the doctor a week earlier and gotten a biopsy. The night she got her results back was a Tuesday. I remember because I had just gotten back from a weekly Bible study with a group of high school guys from my youth group. When I got home, my dad met me at the door. He told me that I should go upstairs and talk to Mom. She had some things she wanted to talk to me about and tell me…
It was one of those feelings I will never forget. I knew it was bad… I could tell by the sad tone in my dad’s voice. It was almost one of hopelessness. I quietly and reluctantly made my way upstairs to my mom’s room, not knowing … not wanting to know… what my mom was about to tell me. It was that Tuesday night in September — three years ago — that I first found out of my mom’s cancer. It has been a long road since then…
I lost count of how many times I cried and questioned God. For the first several months, I fell asleep to the sound of my mom crying in the bathroom next to my room, not knowing how long she would still be with us. The doctors diagnosed the cancer as one of the more agressive breast cancers… and they gave her some five years to live. It was the start of a long, hard road.
Only a few months ago, my mom finished her last cancer treatment… three years after she was first diagnosed. She is in good health now and has been given six months before she has to come back again for more cancer tests. The Lord is good. It has been a long road, and God still may decide to allow the cancer to return. But we have learned to take each day as it comes.
You may be wondering why I have written all this… and why the picture even pertains to anything I have said. I assure you, it does. God has been good to my family. So often, I have doubted God’s sovereignty. I have questioned God’s doings, especially with my mom’s cancer. Why did He allow it to happen to my mom? I still can’t fully comprehend it or understand why. But I have seen God bless my family through it… my family has grown closer together, and we have learned to live each day in the light of eternity. In the light of cancer, eternity becomes a very real reality… especially to my mom. I have seen my mom witness to countless doctors, nurses, and other breast cancer victims. She has started support groups for women with breast cancer, and she has been able to use her story to encourage countless other families and victims of cancer. God is good!
I wrote some about my family and my mom …because I want people to know that even though we may not always understand the workings of God, He is forever sovereign. I didn’t understand why God did what He did to my family… but I have seen blessings flow from it. I can’t completely understand why God has allowed some of my best friends to endure hardships and addictions and abuse in their lives… but I trust that He is sovereign and in control. It is not my place to question God. He daily provides for me, and it is not my place to worry or question or doubt.
Matthew 6:26 says, “Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they?”
God is sovereign and in control. We may not always completely understand His doings… I know that I don’t. But He provides for the birds of the air, and He provides even more for us. He knows what is best for us, even though at times it may not be presented in the best situations or the most ideal circumstances. Trust Him… place your faith in the ONE who knows.
Published on 15 Dec 2006 at 9:32 pm.
1 Comment.
Filed under Real Life Issues, Thoughts.
so true, philip! God is definitely in control..of every apsect of our lives. When you are in the midst of walking through tough times with either a friend of yourself, you never quite see the whole picture. You are forced to trust and take His hand and just follow Him. Once you’ve made it out of the darkness it is in that moment you realize why you went through all of it and how you have been forever changed. Never let go of his hand, buddy…He will carry us through…
Olivia on 18 Dec 2006 at 10:39 am.